Mixed Girl Thoughts

You ever tell yourself you’re going to do something for so long and then surprise yourself when you finally do it? That’s me… right now… with this blog.

At first, this idea ocurred to me after a night with my Mom a long time ago. I had just come home from visiting my boyfriend, now husband, in the UK for the summer. She had just told me about a week or two before that she was leaving my Dad.

Over a glass of wine, we talked about being women, especially being mixed women. The feeling of lost identity. The feeling of not knowing where you belong. I immediately thought to myself, in my slightly wine drunk stupor, “Hey, this would be a good idea for a blog or a podcast!”

Fast forward three years later and I have just now, after multiple attempts, decided to fully attempt. Not a drill.

So here we are.

Growing up as a mixed kid, I was never fully aware that there was anything called race, per se. I knew that I had brown skin, my Mom, even though she is mixed, had light colored skin, and my Dad had black skin. Simple. But, funnily enough, I remember the exact moment that my mind became a lot more aware.

I was in second grade and it was MLK week (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.). The school televisions broadcasted a film about the Civil Rights movement and what that meant for United States and Black Americans. I was dumbfounded. I could not believe what I was watching. Police attack dogs, hoses spraying people down, lynchings, etc. I could not fathom doing that to someone or that happening to me. It made me so emotional. We had lunch after that film ended, and I remember looking to my best friend at the time (she was white), and saying to her “Could you imagine if that happened to us?”

She said some kind of snarky comment, like “Well it’s not, so stop talking about it”, and I just couldn’t. I couldn’t stop thinking about it at all. From then on, I was hyper aware of my race and how that affected my interactions with people. I mean, I knew people were racists but I didn’t know the terms. People would stare at my parents holding hands in a Dick’s Sporting Goods with disgust. This was in the early 2000s!

But I digress…

Sitting there, having a glass of wine with my Mom, made me realize that there has to be others who feel this way. People are struggling to figure out where they belong in the world in general, but especially mixed women. We’re often objectified, fetishized, or vilified (like Meghan, Duchess of Sussex) just for being ourselves. How dare a mixed woman have some whimsy and joy (and flower sprinkles)!

I want Mixed Girl Thoughts to be a community for all mixed women to find themselves in. To feel heard, to feel seen, and to feel joy in being understood. And if you’re not mixed, that’s okay. You’re still welcome here, too. The point is that unlike those census or diversity surveys where you have to check either black or white, Mixed Girl Thoughts is that magical third option where you can just be yourself. Whatever that looks like for you.

So pour a glass of wine, eat some cheese, and have great conversations with like minded people in the comment section.

It might be three years late, but welcome to Mixed Girl Thoughts.

J

P.S.

Lots of good stuff on the way… stay tuned!